Goofy pointless thing

nose sunburn & saving ducks

In the summer it’s all orange juice and garlic cloves. My nose gets more sunburnt than any other part of my face. I don’t like it, enough that now I put extra sunscreen on my nose in a thick layer like a lifeguard in a movie. It took me like two decades of nose sunburn to realize why they all put zinc on their noses. I thought it was just a goofy pointless thing, which is kind of derf of me.

Two weeks ago I was at a beach on a lake. There was this little dock pier thing that created a partially enclosed area where a lot of people, mostly children but some adults, fish. On this one particular day the weather was really beautiful and it was the weekend and there were a lot of really small children fishing. I had noticed the day before that there were a lot of dead fish in the water, which I assumed had all been thrown back because I saw more kids throwing fish back than keeping them. My thoughts about fishing are that if you are going to catch it you should eat it. I don’t think it is right to fish for fun. Too many fish swallow the hook and die. It’s sad. I felt sad seeing all the dead fish. My boyfriend said it was probably because the water was too warm, but I had seen all those little boys throwing fish back, breaking lines. I’ve fished before, and I didn’t eat my fish I threw it back. I get it, it was kind of fun, but I wouldn’t do it again unless I am going to eat it.

So all these little kids are fishing and suddenly there is a duck flailing in the water. Oh yeah, there’s lots of ducks in the semi-enclosed area because it seems they manage to get some bait out of the fishing deal so they swim around the fishing children waiting for their chance at food. One of the ducks, a small female I had taken a photo of moments before, was caught on some boy’s line. His mom was behind him holding the fishing rod with him trying to pull it back in a panic. For a minute I just watched in horror processing what I was seeing before I started to get a really bad feeling in my stomach. My mom looked away and started to cry. The little boy cried out “it’s all my fault” to which his mother responded “no it’s not honey” to which I silently responded “you’re right lady it’s your fault.” All the while the duck is still trying to break free. I unfreeze and I look around and instinctually choose who I determine looks like the most experienced fisherman on the pier. I run up to this person who appears to be another little kid’s dad. Let me tell you, this man had no urgency. I quickly but calmly explained that the duck was stuck on the line and I asked if he had any experience with this kind of problem and if so could he help. He sighed in a manner that could only be described as slow motion and then paused before saying that this happened before on the same pier and last time someone had to grab the duck and pull the line out. I said ok and looked at him expecting him to jump into action but he just kept looking out at the water so I left him behind. In this time the duck-murderer’s mother had managed to cut the line so the duck would not strangle itself and the duck was swimming around the pier making strange motions with its bill and neck. It seemed like the hook was stuck in its mouth because it probably would have died by now if it was in its throat.

At this point many people had gathered around, some with nets who were planning to catch the duck and pull the hook out. My mom went and found some kind of rake and was approaching the crowd ominously when I called to her from the dock and motioned to put the rake down, because it would obviously make matters worse. My dad and I were very invested in finding someone brave who had experienced this exact situation before. We gathered a group of like 5 middle aged men who all had a different plan for how they’d theoretically help the duck if it could swim close enough to the dock to be captured. This focus group decided that a net was too risky because the duck would fly out of the net so our goal was for someone to follow the man with no urgency’s advice and grab it. While all this was happening my mom went to get the lifeguard who called someone and then jumped into the water and swam around attempting to keep the duck in one area so that whenever whoever she called arrived they could help it.

We were under the impression that she called someone kind of wildlife emergency service but the only person who showed up a while later was her boss, some stressed out looking man in a polo shirt and khaki shorts that were both too big. The noble lifeguard swam around chasing the duck for probably 25 minutes. As people would try to grab it, it would swim faster and try to escape the semi-enclosed area and the lifeguard would have to work harder to keep it there. Eventually one of the men with a net tried to use it which was indeed a mistake as discussed because it sent the duck swimming at cartoon duck level speed out of the dock area toward the open water, still making weird motions as it tried to dislodge the hook.

The now large group of people who had gathered on the beach to become a part of this all ran to follow the duck. On the sidelines two guys who looked about my age were laughing and pointing at the lifeguard and the duck swimming by them. As I was jogging along the coast with the crowd I stopped and asked them if they found a duck getting a hook stuck in its mouth funny, like I was some kind of lakeside duck defender. Their faces turned to stone and they explained that they thought the lifeguard was chasing the duck for no reason, that it was just a goofy pointless thing. I thought that was really dumb but I kept moving. The lifeguard couldn’t follow the duck anymore and we all watched it swim further away until it was out of sight. Her boss arrived and stood looking in the direction we said the duck went for a long time, making phone calls and pacing around and asking us to repeat descriptions of the duck. There was a second lifeguard who had to keep her eyes on all the swimming kids while the other one was swimming chasing the duck. She was annoyed and said their job isn’t to save ducks, it’s to save people. She was not wrong but I told the lifeguard who chased the duck that she was a champion because I could tell she tried really hard. I felt strongly that people shouldn’t be allowed to fish in this small area with all the ducks around where it was so easy for this to happen. Thinking about the whole event makes me queasy and sad. I do find it heartwarming how many people seemed invested in the duck being saved. I’m hoping maybe someone came across it and helped it or that maybe one of the many numbers called found it and did their job. For all we know its best chance at survival was getting away from us.

My dad and I saved some ducks successfully when I was kid. He did all the work really. We were driving somewhere on a Sunday morning and there was a duck family trying to cross a road. It was one of those two way roads where each way has two lanes. I don’t drive so I don’t remember the right way to refer to that. There was an island (?) in the middle, a little patch of grass surrounded by curb that seemed to have no purpose now that I think about it. Seriously what are those things for? They’re not any kind of barricade, I guess they’re nice to look at when you’re waiting at the light. The ducklings were trying mostly unsuccessfully to make it over that island and had another curb waiting for them on the other side of the road. Their mother had already crossed and was continuing along not so patiently toward a pond. My dad slowed his car and parked sideways blocking the road. The baby ducks got scared and started to scatter under his car. He opened my window and told me to tell him where they were so he could push them in the right direction across the road by nudging them and scooping some of them up with a piece of cardboard from the trunk of his car. Some lady pulled over and got out to help. Other people waited in their cars, some honked but the lady or my dad would go tell them what was happening and then they’d wait. It took a while to herd and scoop all the ducklings over the island across the street and over the second curb, but they got all of them. We refer to that as the day we saved the ducks.