How to survive May
likely redundant but whatever this is what it is!
A cycle or pattern could use some changes or might even be ready to peacefully end. It may be a small cycle; perhaps one little part of your day that could use a shift. What can you do differently without shaking things up too much? I had one less cup of coffee the other day and it was good, made me feel better. Another day I had a coffee with milk in the evening when I’d usually have tea and that was liberating. Today I took a different walking route and at the time I’d usually be on my phone scrolling I watched stand up comedy then took a nap and then a shower. It was a refreshing change. Life should never be too rigid. Pattern interruption creates movement, it’s like spiritually opening a window.
Be the villain. Everyone likes to say that the funny thing about people-pleasing is that you’re not pleasing anyone but I beg to differ because if we weren’t pleasing anyone why do they seem so disappointed when we stop? Of course there are many people-pleasing habits that might actually annoy others, probably some other ones too that are neither appreciated nor missed; but there are also habits we take on that the larger culture loves, such as women smiling just to keep everyone comfortable and unoffended. Respectfully, it’s time for all the girls to enter significantly more villainous phases. It’s okay if some people don’t like you, find you rude, whatever. I’m sure you come across people who disregard your potential discomfort all the time, so don’t worry about theirs so much. It’s cool to be kind but this nice stuff has to stop. You know what I say is the funny thing about people-pleasing? You’re pleasing everyone but yourself so you’re kind of treating yourself like you’re not a person.
Get off phone one hour before bed at least. No phone in bed. Watch something on TV instead if you must but no scrolling. When you wake up don’t scroll until you’ve had a sip of coffee. If possible for your lifestyle hold off on non-urgent communication like texts and email until then too and don’t busy yourself with them right before bed either. If that’s not possible find windows during the day for Do Not Disturb, set a timer if it helps.
Walk slow like you’re on a tiny island browsing in the market. Walk a mile like that, maybe two. Carry provisions so you don’t have to rush back. “But I’m in a city I can’t walk slow here!” Yes you can, people will walk around you.
Stop over-explaining. In some cases stop explaining period. There is no need to explain why you’re not available, why you’re tired, what you’re doing, why this, why that. People can be nosy, and you don’t have to answer their questions. Sit in the silence of not explaining and watch what happens. Let go of the need for everyone to understand and trust that it’s okay to exist without defending your every action. Of course when you’re with people you really want to share with do it freely! But when it comes to conversations and people that feel draining, or judgmental stop explaining. If it makes you a villain so be it.
Similarly, be honest but there is no need to be so honest that you feel over exposed or uncomfortable. Move within your comfort zone, aim to communicate clearly, but don’t destroy yourself for it. It’s hard to achieve total understanding with people because we’re all coming from different perspectives, experiences and information. We all interpret stuff differently. You could say something real and someone might think you’re being fake you could tell a joke and someone might think it’s serious. True 100% understanding is not quickly achieved it’s slowly chiseled out it can’t be rushed it can’t be forced. It also can’t be verified. You can never actually see into someone’s mind to know if they’re understanding is exactly like yours. See how much energy you have when you focus on just expressing yourself clearly and knowing yourself rather than spending all your time trying to get others to see things a certain way. Your words are more powerful when you’re not trying to make anyone get it, anyway.
If reading astrology reports makes you mentally unstable and paranoid you don’t have to tune in to it. You are the creator of your world and any tools available are just there as a way for us to see ourselves and have our current energy reflected back to us for contemplation but you do not have to claim something just because someone forecasted it. Astrology is a tool, tarot is a tool, human design is a tool. What your horoscope says is not a definitive truth. Have you ever read the wrong one by accident? The other day I unintentionally digested two slides of information for Aries Rising agreeing with all of it before realizing I’d swiped the wrong way. Take what’s yours, leave the rest; if it’s throwing you off, if it’s affecting your grip on reality and your ability to self-regulate and feel grounded then hard pass.
Take stock of what you actually enjoy doing. See if there are ways you can choose joy and what you like more often. Consider what you’re saying Yes to that really might be a No. It’s okay and safe to say No to things you don’t enjoy or want to do. There’s no need to feel guilty for saying No.
In general, don’t say Yes when you want to say No. Be careful with Maybe. True honest Maybes do exist, I believe in them and I’ve given them and meant them with my whole heart. But some Maybes are just an attempt to prevent the pain of No, even if subconscious.
If you want to keep your life private keep it private. You don’t owe anyone updates about the intricate details of your world. If someone is prying try asking them the same question instead of answering, like you’re just so excited by what they asked that now you must have their answer. I love to see the shock on someone’s face when I return their “what will you do if art doesn’t work out?” with “what’s your plan if being a doctor goes south?” But one of my favorite lines is “Honestly, I think about that every day, can’t we just enjoy the moment right now? What do you like to do for fun?”
last one is sooo real
i loved this