What is January made of?

January has a wool miniskirt and a bob

Every January I play the same song on repeat until the snow melts. Pray for snow even on the relieving milder days, the ones that remind us warmth outside is still possible without great effort. Today I felt fantastic until I didn’t anymore. Yesterday I felt good. Got a haircut for the first time in 6 years, first time since that one winter I got bangs. Hair looked like Eddie in Stranger Things. Mullet-esque but more metal than whatever other styles come to mind when you think mullet. Told myself I’d take a photo of the hair on the floor but I didn’t, by the time I looked down as I gathered my things to leave it was gone. Out in the cold air I felt good. My reflective sunglasses from the grocery store that I’ve been wearing since summer so smudged I could barely see up the avenue. Didn’t know what to do as I left the salon, a new woman. Little flecks of fake leather peeled off the thin edge of my jacket leading to the zipper. Little black flecks everywhere, trailing behind me, stuck to my perpetually sweaty hands. Prayed an animal wouldn’t eat any of them, tried to pick some up but once they hit the ground I couldn’t distinguish them from dirt. For a moment I discounted the idea of getting something to eat completely but it was 1pm and I’d been up since 10 so surely the thought that I maybe didn’t need to eat yet was ill-informed. I went into a busy cafe coffee shop kind of spot. There was only one seat available and I snagged it right after ordering. Got a large coffee, my second coffee of the day, and a tuna melt. I expected a small manageable sandwich but ended up with a thick open faced one. Can’t say I didn’t get what I paid for. It tasted very good but was a little overwhelming to my senses as with every hour passing I was growing more aware of how little I slept the night before. Something about bad sleep leaves my stomach feeling off. I can’t say what foods will bother it only that when I know what I’m meant to eat I really know. I guess I wanted to eat something with my hands, it was the fork and knife for the open faced sandwich as well as the chunks of tuna salad toppling off that flustered me most. But it was good and I ate it all slowly reminding myself that on this rare occasion I had nowhere to be, so why not take my time like I tell everyone else to do. That’s the one place I really don’t practice what I preach, breakfast and lunch. I’ve always got some brilliant reason to put them off. Always telling myself I haven’t got time because I’m late or behind etc. Ridiculous things for such a masterful time bender as myself to entertain but hey, we can’t all be perfect. Some of us, most of us, just learn the same lessons again and again in different forms until we’ve really learned them well. I realized once that you get some choice in how you learn things. I enjoy learning through love a lot.